I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately. Particularly how our sense of self, the narratives we share about our lives and the company we keep can either deplete or add to our sense of validity as individuals.

When I think back to situations, which if I were presented with now,  I would have handled them differently.  I can almost always trace these back to a time where I felt I didn’t have this genuine sense of self.

The fact is “Validity” a sense that we are worthy and capable of demanding more for our selves and current situations isn’t always God-given. Coming from a place of self-doubt or a perhaps even a history of self-sabotage can make demanding more seem impossible or even unreasonable.


And it’s something I see a lot in the young people I’ve worked with. Particularly young women who battle with low self-esteem and often find themselves seeking external means for validation.

I think although it’s something many of us may have luckily moved on from or are even still going through in some way, it’s something that can sometimes resurface if not dealt with properly.

The importance of Narratives is a topic I’ve covered before in an earlier post which can be found here and something I’m really passionate about. There comes a point where we have to decide that we are worthy of living our best lives.  As time spent doubting ourselves or stuck in places we know we should have long since moved on from is time we’re never getting back.


I truly believe our 20’s are a time for healing, self-forgiveness and establishing standards for ourselves and the people we choose to let into our lives. We shouldn’t be afraid to demand more for ourselves and others around us. If someones presence doesn’t sit right with us and how we view ourselves then we have to address that.

Of course, this is always easier said than done, however saying that it’s also much easier to break ties that it is to build yourself up again from a bad experience.

I’m content in the knowledge that nothing that is for me will ever ask me to sacrifice my self-worth.

However, in order to maintain this, we have to set aside time for self-care. Even when things are good we still have to put in the work. I’ve found that daily rituals are invaluable within my own self-care journey. In the mornings I’ll set aside time to pray & meditate, then go over some positive affirmations on my way to work. I’ll end my day by “Checking Out” which consists of reflecting on my day, where I am and what’s next in terms of where I’m heading.


I’ve long since learnt that there’s nothing wrong with being kindhearted or having a softer nature even if this has been abused in the past. It’s not a reflection of our fault or a reason to change who we are, rather that we just have to be smarter with who we deem to be worthy of our time and energy.

As always, Love & Light,


Published by convoswithchi


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